Argh - Not again.. why?

Well you know last month i had feelings for someone when i was having a depressed time, well its been a month and half since becca said she wants to be friends, so i've accepted that and "moved on" as it were.. but the problem i've moved on is i've developed my feelings for the person who was helping me.

She's a great person but i'm stupid again and sent a valentine txt (lame i know) saying bla bla bla from your secret admirer. This made her a little apprehensive and on Friday/Saturday (long nights cant remember) I told her that it was me. Well yesterday we spent the afternoon travelling upto St Ives then onto Peterborough with each other and we just talked alot bout random things which is great because it gets to know each other, and well on my mind was my feelings of her, these were all true on how i feel and they developed over the evening.. this is when i turned into my old self :( when i got home i sent a text saying thanx for a great day etc.. then started waffling in another text about how i have to accept how she feels and just learn to know that nothings gonna happen between us.

Yes i think this is true because i've "read between the lines" on a few things and also its just in my nature of relationships (because i've been single now 3-4 years -.-) and then stupid thing is during the night i couldnt sleep and i flipping sent a text saying this.. man im sure i am one of the dumbest people alive.. It probs came across as if i was stupid and desperate.. and well i dont want that cos thats one reason why becca only wanted to be friends.

I need to speak to her because i got about an hours sleep last night because all i did was think about her, how i acted and how stupid i am. I tried texting my sister about whether these feelings are still because of the helping during the depressive time i had last month or whether i genuinely like this girl. I think it's that latter because i started thinking less of her after i felt abit better last month but everyday i thought about her and pray about her and it just excites me (dnt take that rudely) when i speak to her or see her.

Well hopefully today we will end up being on MSN the same time and we can talk about this.

Well keep you updated (again sorry for lack of updates, i've been ill and busy with Assignments)